Post Mission Dating...

When I got home from my mission my parents thought I had a gay lover. This kid, by the name of Conrad, and I did everything together. We took the same classes, had the same job, and were basically with each other 24/7. We had a lot of good times together. Another thing we did together was date… not each other (though some would argue that) but fine, grade A women. We needed one anothers support because we were still afraid of the ladies. So you didn’t get one without the other. But I felt we were a pretty good team. We had a lot of good dating experiences. One of our first dates home consisted of Dirty Ric, Conrad, and myself taking three lovely ladies up to my buddy Conrad’s property (the yurt) for some late night four-wheeling. The car ride up was toasty and I sat on some leather seats in the back of the suburban. When we arrived I was anxious to get out for I was too bashful to ask for a little air on the way up and was excited to step out to catch a cool mountain breeze. As I exited the car, Ric’s date said, “Oh Stew, did you sit in something?” as I immediately responded, “Dude, Ric, what was on your back seat?” (Immediately knowing that my shirt had fully absorbed the swack due to the hot leather seats) It was the start of a beautiful beautiful night. Our dates were hungry so we decided to woo them with our cooking skills as we burned a footlong sausage over the fire till it was black and all partook of it directly from the stick it was cooked on. It wasn’t the sausage that was delicious but the friendships that were built from such a wonderful experience.

Conrad and I had delightful dating experiences but we also had our awkward moments. We picked up our blind dates one night in the beautiful Provo Valley and we didn’t have a lot to say to the young ladies after we had introduced ourselves. As we drove in silence down University Ave. Connor was desperate to strike up a conversation, so he browsed his surroundings. The next thing I heard was “Big O Tires…. good times… good times,” thinking that would help the awkward silence. We soon arrived to Noodles n’ Company for a tasty meal. Conversation at that point had not yet picked up so Connor, in a panic said, “I love cheese,” as he gazed at his Mac n’ Cheese, “What kinda cheese do you ladies like?” For the next half hour we engaged in a fascinating conversation about different cheeses. It was one of the better dates we went on…

One of my favorite memories was on a date with a gal whom I was whooped over a couple months after the mish. It was a fun night and it was time for the moment I dreaded… the doorstep scene. Being a newbie to the whole dating thing, the doorstep scared me to death even though I knew nothing was going to happen because Conrad was 20 feet away. I wanted to be smooth so I got out of the car and was thinking to myself all the way to the door. I didn’t hear a word she said though she yapped my ear off every step of the way. As we hugged good-bye I was immediately back peddling due to fear. Then she said, as I was back peddling through her mothers garden, “I had fun, we should do this again soon.” I was still talking in my head at the time so I’m lucky I heard what she said. After telling myself over and over to be smooth, I looked her square in the eye with a sudden leap of confidence and said, “Ya do whatchya do.” I turned around with a look of disgust. What the hell did I just say??? I whispered “ya do whatchya do” to myself over and over as I walked towards the car trying to figure out what the hell that even means. As I got in the car Connor asked, “How was it?” I immediately said, “She told me she had fun and that she wants to go out again.” He said, “Sweet man!” “Yeah, but I told her she does what she does…”