Minivans

The other day I took a stroll in a minivan and I'm just curious, has anybody ever been in a minivan that didn't smell like dirty diapers, have smashed potato chips on the seats (that had been there long enough to have little grease rings around the edges in the cloth seat), and didn't have a sticky residue on the handle? Cuz I'm pretty sure these "features" come standard in the Minivan Package. The worst part about it is that the windows don't roll down in the backseat. They just have those ones you gotta push out, giving you a solid inch of airflow. So you end up having to crack it open and wedge your face between the plastic and the window just to catch a breath of fresh air. Next time you pass a minivan on the freeway and you see nothing but lips and a nose poking out of that crack you'll know exactly what it smells like in that vehicle.

When buying a minivan the salesman will try to woo you with the automatic sliding doors and the tv's in the back of the headrests, but don't be fooled... it'll still have that dirty diaper smell and it's only a matter of time before the greasy chips stick to your pants and there's a sticky residue in the palm of your hand that smells of sour milk.

Keep a close eye on the people driving the minivans too. A large percentage of them will be in old baggy sweat pants with some sort of stain on them. I think they throw the sweats in when ya make that sweet minivan purchase.